Ellen DeGeneres Tells Sarah Palin Where to Stick It

Ellen has a little something to say to Sarah Palin.



Starring Danny Torrance as America and The Grady Twins as McCain and Palin

America:  Zoom, zoom, zoom, having fun, looking forward to a new and wonderful future without Dubya.

McPalin: Hi, America!  Come play with us!

America: Really?  You want to play with me?

McPalin: Absolutely! You’ve mandated us to be your leaders. We can’t wait to play with you!

America:  Wow, that’s neato! Let’s play with the financial problem, ‘kay?

America: WTF?

McPalin: America, America, don’t worry, that nasty old Obama didn’t get elected.

McPalin: We want to play with you America. First we’re going to pull off your personal rights, then your civil rights, then take your home and your little dog, too!

America: NO! NO! NO! Wake up, America, wake up!

America: Whew! It really was just a dream or my imagination or something!

JOBama: Don’t worry, America. It will only be a bad dream as long as you get out there and VOTE!

Don’t take an Obama-Biden win for granted! Make it a landslide!

Photos from The Shining (c) 1980 Warner Bros

Rolling Stone: Mad Dog Palin

A brief excerpt from MATT TAIBBI’s must-read article about Sarah Palin and her followers. Scathing? You betcha!

“Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she’s a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power. Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she’s the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV — and this country is going to eat her up, cheering her every step of the way. All because most Americans no longer have the energy to do anything but lie back and allow ourselves to be jacked off by the calculating thieves who run this grasping consumer paradise we call a nation.”



Palin: Master Debater?

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

I’m Voting Republican

Reasons to vote Republican!  It’s a brilliant video.


I was in my office today, quietly catching up on business when I heard and felt that unmistakable throb of stereos gone wild.  Then I heard honking and yelling somewhere out on the main street.  Happy for a distraction, I walked out of my business, locked up, saw what was going on across the way and realized the McCain campaign office was tucked into the little mall behind the street zombies.  They were rallying at the traffic, bobbing signs that said “McCain – Palin!” and playing tinny (except for the base thrum) country and pop music loud enough to wake the dead. (Which is probably necessary for McCain’s sake.)

I muttered something like, “And you call yourselves Californians” but with a lot more swearing, then hied my ass back into the biz, printed out a sign, attached it to a long-handled dust bin, and grabbed my camera. Finally, I returned to the scene of the slime, set up my sign, and started shooting.

The zombies grinned and waved because they couldn’t see my sign.

Signs of Palinfestation

Signs of Palinfestation

Where Did the GOP Find Sarah Palin?

Yesterday, a car salesman told me he liked Sarah Palin because she was “nice to look at and doesn’t know anything about Washington.”  He thought that was refreshing.  Then he asked me what I thought.

I said, “She’s a narcissist and probably sociopathic.”

He just chuckled – probably because he was trying to sell me a car and had just realized he’d read me wrong –and told me that “little Sarah is just like Teddy Roosevelt, and no one can deny he’s a great man.”

While I was reeling my jaw up, he explained.  It was something about hunting bad guys and hunting animals and I had a lot of fun telling him I’d never buy a car from someone who supported a psycho because she was hot.

This salesman was at least 65 years old and he still thought with his dick.

And tonight an older woman who absolutely loves dogs — dotes on them, adores them — told me she thinks Sarah Palin would be a great Veep or Prez, that she’s totally qualified and that the ‘left-wing press has made up all those stories about shooting wolves.’

Palin’s Zombie Army is on the move.

Palin and Teddy Roosevelt have bears in common.

Palin and Teddy Roosevelt have bears in common.

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